TV? That's where I'm a viking!

Whoa! Look who's suddenly post-happy all of a sudden. Mike goes more than a month with nothing to say, and now he's trying to commandeer the blog. Not on my watch, sir!

He thought we were in the "pre-posting" phase. What's that all about? There's no such thing. Once a blog is online, it's meant to be posted in. You're not supposed to wait for someone else to tell you when to post. What would you do with your "pre-posting" time, anyway? Gather your thoughts? That defeats the entire purpose! Blogs are for writing whatever you want without giving it the slightest bit of thought. Just look at all the shmucks who have popular blogs. That's what the wonderful world of the internets is all about.

Yes, the story about my meeting the Orioles' manager is true. We had a nice chat in the Orioles' dugout, just the two of us, a few hours before a game a couple months ago. We shot the breeze about the O's for 45 minutes, and I expressed my opinion about why the team was so unrelentingly horrible. (And this was before they gave up 30 runs in one game!) I'd explain more, but I'm fairly sure that none of the readers of this blog (all three of you) are baseball fans, and thus would not enjoy the story on nearly as many levels as I do.

I suppose I should chime in on Mike's TV discussion, as it is one of the precious few subjects I can speak knowledgeably about.

Torchwood/Californication: I dunno. Never seen 'em. (Like I said-- totally knowledgeable about TV.)

How I Met Your Mother: It's a good show, but you know what would make it better? Dumping all the cast members not named Neil Patrick Harris. Seriously. That guy is legen --wait for it-- dary. The other characters I can take or leave, but if it were just 30 minutes of Barney's exploits, it'd be the best show on TV. Someone needs to get cracking on this.

Chuck: The lowdown: A bungling loser, through unfortunate happenstance, finds himself embroiled in a series of high-stakes, life-or-death situations. As opposed to the new CW show Reaper, in which a bungling loser, through unfortunate happenstance, finds himself embroiled in a series of high-stakes, life-or-death situations. Glad I clear up the confusion. The thing is, these are two of the best of an otherwise weak crop of new shows. Also, it's official: every show on TV now has a character named Chuck. Or Jack. Or, in some cases, both.

Heroes: Here's the thing about Heroes. It could be so awesome, all the time, and yet it...holds back, a bit. Like, last season, it took forever to get to the point (the first 8-9 episodes were extremely slow moving), but once it got there, it was some of the best TV you'll ever see. Every episode features many moments of awesomeness (cool fights or special effects or whathaveyou) interspersed with a couple lame or boring storylines (usually anything involving Niki). It's definitely worth watching, though, and it even cracked Paul's Personal Top Five Shows last year. That's a distinguished honor, shared by (as of the end of last season) The Office, Lost, Survivor, and Supernatural. The list is constantly changing, though, so stay tuned.

Prison Break: Mike's extremely correct when he says it's not the same show every week. Every episode introduces a brand-new, completely ludicrous, plot-hole-ridden storyline. Oh sure, it's fun to watch it all play out, but man-- shut off your brain if you're planning to watch this show. It simply makes no sense. This show sure does have a vindictive group of writers, though-- "Oh, so you're just going to quit our show, flaky actress? Well then, I guess you won't mind if we put your character's severed head in a box!" Yikes.

Journeyman: I really wanted to like this show, because I'm usually into the whole time-travel stuff (I was one of the two people who watched Day Break to its conclusion). But I'm just not feeling Journeyman. For one thing, the characters are boring, and for some reason, they hired a Scottish guy to play the lead character but force him to do an American accent. Why not let him cut loose with the Scottish brogue? It'd be so much more entertaining, like having Groundskeeper Willie as the star. ("Ya used me, Skinner! Ya used me!") But the main problem is that the time-traveling aspect just isn't interesting. He can't control when or where he travels, and when he does, all he does is complete some lame task like making sure some no-name receives a bone marrow transplant. Bo-ring! He ought to travel back 20 years and tell people that the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks are currently playing in the National League Championship Series, and watch people be all perplexed because those teams don't yet exist in their time. Oops! Now I'm talking baseball again, so I'll sign off for now...